Freshman Academy: 101 Reasons High School Sucks

Summer’s here. Last post.

I know that I basically gave up on this blog a month or so ago, but I promised myself that I’d write this last post. I’m contemplating keeping this blog throughout high school, or maybe even just creating a new one for sophomore year- who knows. I’ll keep those who care posted about it. 

Anyways, like I said. I’ve been promising myself I’d write one last post when the school year ended- something meaningful, important, worthwhile. Some kind of parting advice, newfound wisdom. I’ve had a hard time coming up with something, but as these last weeks flew by, I figured it’d come to me- I figured on the last day it’d hit me, when it sunk in that this was really it. However, it hasn’t yet. I still can’t believe I won’t be goofing off in math with Gates and Megan anymore, I can’t believe I won’t be sitting through Spanish class with Mrs. Bottoms, I can’t believe I won’t have to listen to Coach Trentham bitch at us anymore. I feel like I’m still going to go back on Monday, like I’ll have to deal with a whole new unit in Physics and worry about what Ms. Payne had to say about the essay I wrote over Tom Sawyer. (Which, for the record, was very rushed and sucked.) But I’m not going back to school on Monday, and even when I do get back to school, everything will be entirely different. New classes, new teachers, new standards. I can’t wrap my mind around it. It’s just too weird. It’s like I’m starting high school all over again- the schedule I had was the only thing I was really familiar with. The day wasn’t at all closurey, but I’ll attempt to make this post that way as best I can.

You know, overall, this hasn’t really been a bad year. This time last year I worried about high school. I was worried I wouldn’t make friends, worried what people would think about me- about how I looked, what I said, who I was friends with, what music I listened to, what clothes I wore, and so on. Not anymore. I discovered that, at high school- much like in the real world- nobody cares. Honestly, the person across the room isn’t going to give you a second thought unless you personally go up and bring yourself into their attention. And even then they’re not going to care about you- not unless you give them a good reason to. In all the grades leading up to high school, there was always someone there who looked out for you- a friend, a teacher, a guidance councilor, a principal, someone. But you don’t get that anymore. Friends have to worry over looking after themselves, school administrators have thousands of kids to deal with, and to just about everyone else, you’re just a face in a crowd. Someone they don’t know and probably won’t ever know and don’t care to know. But, hey, you learn to deal. And sometimes it’s nice- if you’re sad, you don’t have to fake a smile in order to avoid confrontation. If you’re so happy you just want to dance down the hallway, no one’s going to make you talk about it, about why. They might briefly think you’re a freak, but they won’t get any deeper than that- too much effort. 

Sometimes, in one day at the high school, I want to kill myself about ten times. It’s never anything serious- I never get past the initial thought of ‘oh god, please just let me die’. There’s no how, no where, no when planned. None of that. Because you know what? Life goes on. It doesn’t seem like it will whenever something really shitty is happening to you, but trust me, it’s true. For every bad moment, there’s a couple of good ones. For every time you want to cry, there’s a couple of times that you’re about to pee your pants from laughing so hard. I’m not going to say that there’s a compliment for every insult- because there’s not. But you just learn to move on from it, to not dwell on what people say to you. To get over it. Everything is so fast pace that you don’t have a choice. One minute you’re upset that some girl in math class said you were ugly, the next you’re worrying over the newly assigned homework. One minute you’re feeling sorry for yourself because it seems like your friend picks her boyfriend over you every time, the next you’ve forgotten all about that and are having a conversation with her. You just move on. And by the end of the day, I’m always in an awful mood. It’s a lot of emotion to deal with in one day, and I’m exhausted, I have to deal with the homework, I have to worry over grades, I’m sulking over how sucky band class was. But then I get home, I take a shower, and I get on the computer for a while. I talk to Erica and find funny videos and pictures and jokes and other internet-y things. I listen to a song that puts me into a good mood. I watch CSI or write or read. I make plans and find something to look forward to. And then I’m okay again.

What was the point of telling you this? Well, this is my newfound wisdom. Really, most of the time, high school sucks. It really, really sucks. The title of this blog isn’t deceiving. I’ve easily provided you with over one hundred and one reasons (okay, so only two over, but whatever), and I could probably still list more reasons if I wanted to dwell on the bad like that. But at the end of the day, it’s over. Once Friday hits, it’s over. When summer gets here, it’s over. No matter what happens, it’s over when the last bell rings. My advice: Don’t give up on any of it. No matter how hopeless you feel, time still passes. People and circumstances change and life goes on. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was hard sometimes, but just hang in there. You’ll get your good moments. 

Tuesday, April 20. (Day 26.)

26: Really, though, don’t be so quick to write people off. Don’t judge a book by its cover. I can’t tell you how many people I looked at the first day and thought “I won’t like her/him” or “that kid’s annoying” or “ooh, she’s so cool” and things along those lines. If you do that, you will most likely end up wrong about people. I was wrong about almost everyone. Just give people a chance to show you who they are before you decide exactly who they are- it isn’t your choice. 

Today was even more laid back than yesterday. It might have been the rain, or the fact that half the school was stoned out of their mind, or the fact I got out of first period, or even the motivational speaker man we listened to. He was hilarious, by the way. I loved his talk thing. I was thinking about maybe going on Wednesday or Thursday to listen to him at church, but I don’t know. 

Since I didn’t have math today I didn’t have to worry about doing the homework in Spanish class, so I was actually able to pay attention and participate. History was another story, but mostly because I have no interest in Napoleon. I’m probably going to bomb the quiz tomorrow, but whatever. It’s chill. I didn’t have a lot of homework today, and what I did was finished in class. We had a lab again in Physics, which took up almost the entire class. I didn’t really pay much attention, but Philip helped me fill out the lab report. He’s really nice. But anyways. Band wasn’t boring for once. I actually did okay on my solo thing!!!!!! It was like the highlight of my month, not totally screwing everything up. And I spent the rest of the hour talking to Zander and then later joking around with him and Thomas. 

Monday, April 19th. (27 Days.)

I’ve decided to just start counting down to the last day seeing as I don’t know what day I’m on now. I really do apologize about that. Also, to end the year on a more positive note I’ll start giving advice instead of reasons it sucks.

27: All incoming Freshmen out there who might read this, don’t spend your summer worrying over high school. It’s really not a big deal at all. It’s the same as middle school, but bigger, and the people are fucking hilarious most of the time. You’ll have a good time, trust me.

Today was actually pretty laid back. We’re not exactly in end-of-the-year-slacker mode, it’s more of that we’re just trying to get through these last few weeks without too much of a struggle. I’m actually starting to pay attention in class again so that I’ll be ready for all these end of course exams, and it’s not as bad as I thought. Today was the first time I’ve paid attention in math class instead of read in ages, and I didn’t fall asleep or zone out more than once. I’m mildly concerned about my Spanish grade because it’s one point below an A, but I’m hoping to miraculously obtain a ton of oral points and pull my grade up. I started paying attention in that class, too. 

Now that the student practicum teaches instead of Coach Trentham, History really isn’t all that bad. I’m not constantly stressing out over homework, I’m able to take good notes, and I actually understand what we’re talking about. English class has gotten to be fun lately, too. Ms. Payne is in such a great mood for whatever reason, and I’m actually pretty decent at this grammar work. We just finished A Midsummer Night’s Dream (I got a 100 on both the study guide and the test over it), and we’re starting The Odyssey next week. In Physics I’m finally getting the hang of keeping up with all my stuff for the notebook, and it seems like we just have labs most every day. I have fun talking to Philip and Mason, and the class doesn’t really suck anymore. Band, however, is still Band. I’ve been saying that since the beginning of the year/this blog, and it still proves to be true. I’m kind of worried about solo/assembles test, but I’m trying not to stress out over it. I can’t wait until marching band starts up again, and I won’t have to worry about band as a class next year.  God, summer is so close. I just need to get through these next few weeks. 

I’m terribly sorry

That I haven’t updated this blog in such a long time. I’ve let two months pass by without one entry, and I really do apologize. In all honesty, I think it’s because I was at that point in the year where each day blended with the other and nothing exciting was happening anymore. When I got home, I was too exhausted to go through and type about my day. Aside from that, I just wanted to forget it. It was boring and I’ve been spacey and not really all there. I had homework and my writing and all that kind of stuff, so I just didn’t feel like bothering with it. With six weeks left, though, I kind of want to start this back up again. I get a feeling I might have let too much time pass, though. But I’m kind of afraid I’ll always regret it if I end up not starting it up again- I’m so close to the end of the school year, so close to having recorded (nearly) every day of my Freshman year. I might actually want to go back and read this one day (it seems like something an old person would like), but I don’t know. I want your opinions. Do I want to stop updating, or should I give it another go?

Since apparently it needs to be clarified.

I’m not bragging about my grades. 

Tuesday, February 23. (Day 103.)

Reason 103: Okay, so let’s face it. You know it, I know it, we all know it. It’s a universal fact: High schoolers are stupid and immature. And this in itself gives high school enough reason to suck.

Today was decent, I guess. I was totally dying this morning from the late night, but by the time second period rolled around I was basically fine.

In math class I spent the entire time making an outline and taking notes over a passage from Romeo and Juliet to write a well developed paragraph over, since I failed to do so last night. Mrs. Hawkins got pretty pissy about it, and at one point forced me to shut the book and pay attention. In Spanish I took an “ir quiz” and also wrote said well developed paragraph while we went over homework or something. History class was filled with Coach T’s lectures, as always, and something kind of funny happened. Austin walked by and hit me with his book in the back and was like, “Oops.” And I said, loud enough for people to hear, “What an accident.” But everybody though I was talking about Austin as he walked by, because they didn’t know he hit me. Everyone laughed.

During English class I found out that I could’ve waited a day on the well developed paragraph, because Mrs. Payne extended the due date. We started watching the movie Romeo and Juliet, and there were actually some decent looking guys playing the characters. Which is always nice. In Physics class we took a test that I most likely bombed, and I finished up the remaining homework. Band sucked again, because we had to spilt into groups and once again Michael and Gates sucked face practically the whole time. Maybe “I shouldn’t be looking”, but it’s kind of hard to miss, you know? I’m so tired of being like some emo kid in band half the time because I walk up to Gates and Michael and Gates is like, “Go away.” And so I’m left to go awkwardly stand alone. What happened to friends coming before boyfriends? Maybe it’s a little much to ask, but I’d like for band to not suck again. I’m not asking for full out fun, just a little company.

Monday, February 22. (Day 102.)

Reason 102: You get a handful of snow days, people come back with no clue how to walk in the hallways. This always presents itself as a problem. I was completely knocked over today, not to mention ran into at least seven times. I must be invisible or something.

Today wasn’t nearly bad as I thought it would be, coming back after that long long spell of snow days. I haven’t actually had to go to school a full week since before winter break. I get the feeling we won’t be getting out anymore, though. And we’re already going to have to make up the snow days. Anyways.

We took this weird Benchmark test in math on the computers today, and it was actually hard. I don’t usually have any trouble at all with math, but some of the questions completely stumped me. I was running out of time at the end and I ended up having to guess on a few of them just to get through. It made me sad, I didn’t even get to talk to Gates the entire class. Though during the pledge she decided next time we’re going to stand up and do the whole Nazi thing instead of putting our hand over our hearts. As for Spanish class, we had a trivia quiz today. I memorized them right before the quiz, and I really only forgot two or three of the answers. I spent half of the class listening to Tucker go on about breaking his hand, the other talking about how stupid the whole third/fourth nine weeks thing is. In History class we watched a video over the Crusades and then listened to Coach T ramble on about various unrelated things and his yogurt. I made Hannah takes notes over the video for me because I wanted to zone out, but I ended up accidentally paying attention to the video anyways.

In English class we spent most of the time going over the end of course practice, which included anagrams today. Afterward we discussed Act II of Romeo and Juliet, and apparently I’m supposed to find an excerpt of what I find to be “pretty language appealing to the senses” and write a well developed paragraph about it. On a side note, Nathan Nelms cracks me up in that class. Anyways. In Physics we had this Asian sub, and her accent was so bad we could hardly understand anything she said. I felt bad for her, because everyone’s immature and they all made fun of her. Luckily she didn’t have to talk too much, because all we had to do was watch a video over the periodic table and record twenty-five facts the video shared. It was kind of funny. The people who were supposed to be the one column were being all slutty. And then Lauren let me coy the vocabulary from straight off her paper instead of having to look up the words. In band today, the percussionists got to go clean the storage room thing, which basically meant that I got to watch Michael make out with Gates, practically the entire time. I’m not even kidding. They must’ve made out for at least twenty minutes. And at one point I was sitting in a chair and they came and made out practically on top of me to piss me off. And it did. His hands were all over her and it was just… gross. I’ve decided I might not take band as a class next year.

Anyways. Today wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. The only thing that’s been getting me through is my promise to let myself take a nap when I get home.

How was your day?